Responding to inputs, creating outputs...

Alright, here we are again. I have no idea how many people are actually reading this but each day there has been at least a couple people clicking on the link. I am thankful for anyone who allows any of their attention to go to this. Writing each day has been fun and is wildly beneficial to how I think about the important issues in my life, but there is still the voice in my head that tells me to stop. Oh well, proceeding onward

As has been previously mentioned, I am on service this month. That just means that every day in April, I come into the hospital and see patients with a team of medical students and residents. We only have one medical student on our team and yesterday was her first day on rotations. Medical school is broken up into mostly classroom learning in the first half and mostly apprenticeship-style learning in the second half, also called rotations. I enjoy this time because they essentially know nothing about how the hospital works and they soak up most of what I say, which does make me feel useful. The new students also ask all sorts of questions about why we do things the way we do. They also are fresh off being tested on the specifics of human pathophysiology. This is always a great knowledge refresher and a way to sharpen my thinking. It is a great mix of reminding my how much I know and also how little I know. This again seems like a contradiction but is essential to me being the best physician I can be. I have to instill confidence with the care plan for my patients. I have to be confident regarding the importance of topics being taught. I have to be confident in my research ideas. I also have to be humble enough to accept that my initial care plan may be suboptimal. I also have to be humble enough to be a learner myself. I must be humble enough to move a different direction in my research ideas. If only there was an opportunity to balance creating outputs and responding to inputs!!!

Well, believe it or not, there is! It is called improv. My improv journey has very much been a battle of balancing confidence in my idea and responding to what is happening on stage. Most people can figure out the type of improviser they are in one of our 2-hour workshops. People either like to be in control of the idea of the scene they are doing or they like responding to someone else’s scene initiation. The real benefit comes in exploring why you fall in one or the other category and then practicing the opposite category. I have always been in the latter category and the act of being someone who initiates the idea of a scene has been humbling and confidence inducing at the same time. I have felt immense guilt for coming up with a dumb scene initiation at a show. I have also felt confidence when I initiated a scene that led to magic on stage. Knowing both of those outcomes are possible and which one I prefer is what has led to more confidence and more humility. It is at the heart of the idea of Yes, and… as well. Often, just the Yes portion is discussed and why saying “Yes,” to people around you is beneficial. The “and…” portion can be overlooked, and that is what your contribution to your environment is. A great scene requires both of those. Simply agreeing to whatever someone else does or says on stage is a boring scene. You are required to listen and create on stage because the alternative is worse. If you think developing both confidence and a Beginner’s Mind is something you would benefit from, might I recommend improv. OK, I am going to go review the Kreb’s cycle so I know when my medical student asks me about B12 deficiency