DxRx
For the month of December, I’m going to go through some of the more famous sayings from improv class and then talk about how the sayings fit into the sets of principles of current thought leaders as well as some quotes from the past and in contemporary times that express similar ideas. If at any point you recognize a saying or how the lesson fits into your favorite thought leader’s view of the world, I invite you to share that in the comments below or on social media. Over the course of studying improv and self-help literature, I have found that many of the same principles live in both resources but use different words. To me the Improv principle ends up being more effective because implied with the principle is the expectation of practicing it in real life and on stage followed by actively observing how the practice goes. As per request, please share thoughts on social media!
The first and most quoted rule from improv class is the idea of “yes, and…”. I have written extensively about this in previous blog posts but for the sake of our discussion today I will highlight briefly what this means for our purposes here (there are a world of definitions and implications available on the internet that are equally or more correct than what follows).
On the improv stage, it means when I go out into a scene I will say yes to whatever reality my scene partner suggests. That does not mean I have to agree with what my scene partner is saying, it only means that I agree to the basic facts of what has already been said before by my scene partner or anyone else in the scene. That is often where people stop in explaining the principle of yes and… but equally important is the “and…” portion. “And…” refers to your contribution to the scene. You must add something to the developing scene, for the sake of the scene and especially for the sake of your scene partner. The scene is just as likely to stall if you don’t contribute anything to what your scene partner has created as it is if you say No on stage, it will usually just take longer (If you deny a reality on stage, it ends falls flat right in that moment. If you don’t “and…” in a scene, it will be a slow motion train wreck as your scene partner struggles to find connection and you will not offer anything to connect to.
So lets see some quotes and thoughts about this from various thought leaders
Jocko Willink in his book Extreme Ownership has a chapter called, “Check the Ego”. In it he describes the trouble with too much ego and the belief that you can go it alone. Here is a paragraph from that chapter…
““Everyone has an ego. Ego drives the most successful people in life – in the SEAL Teams, in the military, in the business world. They want to win, to be the best. That is good. But when ego clouds our judgement and prevents us from seeing the world as it is, then ego becomes destructive. When personal agendas become more important than the team and the overarching mission’s success, performance suffers and failure ensues””
So that paragraph is essentially what I said about improv’s rule of Yes, and…. Everyone has something to offer (an ego), they have to “and…” Successful people tend to have a lot of “and…” which becomes comfortable the more people become successful. That is when only “and…”ing can be destructive because you are not seeing the world as it is, you are denying the reality of the scene. Focusing on saying “Yes,” to your scene partner or the people you communicate with or the people on your team or the situation you are encountering allows you to see the world as it is and allows your contribution to build as opposed to being destructive.
Brene Brown says many things that are improv mantras in different language. In her book Daring Greatly, she said this…
““The willingness to be vulnerable emerged as the single clearest value shared by all the women and men whom I would describe as Wholehearted. They attributed everything from their professional success to their marriages to their proudest parenting moments to their ability to be vulnerable””
In her book The Gifts of Imperfection, she discussed living a life dedicated to the practice of Courage, Compassion, and Connection. To me, the courage is what is necessary when you step out on the stage or do an improv exercise in a class or workshop or in a new situation. Compassion is the act trying to understand the people and conditions around you. Then the connection comes when you say Yes to the people and situations you encounter. Vulnerability is the “and…”ing portion of it. To put yourself out there with your thoughts and who you are is allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Jocko Willink referred to this as Ego which is interesting. In the parlance of Brene Brown however, vulnerability stems from a place of feeling as if you are worthy. She is encouraging you to be vulnerable and put yourself out there. Jocko Willink stated that Ego is a good thing, but too much is when people get into trouble. Similarly, there are times when I need to put more of myself into an improv scene, problem at work, or a relationship because I am holding back something I have to offer. Also, there are clearly times where the situation would benefit from me doing things to better understand the situation before adding my contribution. I need the courage to see that I could be wrong or it could be the compassion to try to understand the problem from another’s perspective. Either way, that leads to connection. Connection requires me to keep my ego in check but also needs to be present to feel as if I am worthy of connecting with. It is all a balance. It is a balance that is practiced every time I participate in improv activities.
The third thought leader that we will look at is Ray Dalio whose book Principle’s is a series of recommendations for life and for business to help people become successful. Also, there are some animated videos that are great summaries of his ideas. One of his core principles is adopting radical truth and radical transparency. The only way those that can occur is by saying Yes to the reality of the people around you and also to share what you have to offer that reality. Radical truth and radical transparency actually serve to make it easier to accept someone’s reality because it is an attempt to eliminate the guesswork out of understanding your communication partner’s reality. His argument is that in business, there is no time to be anything other than clear an honest to quickly solve problems in the most effective manner possible. My argument is that on the improv stage, there is no time to be coy (more on that in the coming weeks!). You and your scene partner need to find the reality of the scene you are sharing and you need to add your ideas to it. On stage, there is no time to do anything other than use radical truth and radical transparency. Whether or not you accept the idea of radical truth and transparency as a way of life is a separate discussion. The point I am trying to make is that one of the world’s most successful businessmen is making the suggestion that people adopt a “Yes and…” mindset to be as successful as possible in the world.
And now for some older quotes that back up this idea of Yes, and… leading to happiness and success
"Calm down, don't judge, accept people for what they are, get control of your own reactions and move through the world despite the chaos of it."
— Ramnath (@rmnth) February 19, 2022
~ @JonHaidt's brilliant summary of the teachings of the Stoics and the Buddhists. pic.twitter.com/lfZMsyUQV1
““It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it” ”
““Never let the future disturb you. You will meet in, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present” ”
““It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” ”
““There cannot be greater rudeness than to interrupt another in the current of his discourse””
As this relates to my job in healthcare, my job is to diagnose and treat. That can be expanded out to involve so much more, however. How much am I diagnosing? How much am I treating? I obviously won’t treat effectively without understanding what is actually going on. I also won’t serve much purpose if I know the whole situation but don’t do anything about it. I may diagnose something that I don’t like or feel like I can’t do anything about, but there are always ways I can contribute to the situation. I may see a dark reality in front of the patient, but unless I understand their reality, my understanding matters not. I could be the smartest person in the hospital (have the perfect “and…”) but it matters not unless the patient and their family and my team are connected on what the reality of the situation is. The practice of improv is the practice of these skills that I am forced to put to the test every day. Improv is a pretty fun way to get better at these skills.
OK, thanks for staying til the end! See you all soon!